News of your divorce will likely profoundly impact your children, so it is crucial to approach this talk as delicately and thoughtfully as possible. Although you and your spouse likely have an incredibly tense relationship at the moment, you must work together to plan how to break this news to your children, so you can reduce their anxieties and fears about the future.
Working Together to Talk to Your Children
Divorce can affect children of different ages in a variety of ways. Younger kids may wonder if they are still loved or worry about who may care for them. Older kids might worry about being able to stay in the same school and the relationships they may lose if they move. Regardless of their age, however, this will be difficult for your children to process and cope with.
Here are some tips on how to handle the situation:
- Have this talk when they will have enough time to mull it over. Ideally, this should be done before the weekend, so they have a couple of days to process it and ask any questions they did not immediately think of. Do not tell them before dropping them off at school or before bedtime on a school night.
- You must agree not to blame each other for the divorce. Pointing fingers will not do your children any favors and it will only worsen their anxiety during this uncertain time. Keep it simple and explain that you could no longer make your marriage work and you believe getting a divorce is the best decision for everyone. Your children may have seen you argue in the months and days leading up to your divorce, so try to help them understand that it is also best for them if their parents live apart.
- For younger children, it is particularly important to ensure they understand that, regardless of the state of your marriage, your relationship with them will not change. You both still love them and you will both continue to raise and care for them.
- If you have any answers regarding the future, such as where they will go to school or live, provide this information. The more they know about the future, the better the less anxious they will feel.
Continue to be available to your children long after this discussion. They might not know what to say in the days or weeks after you break this news to them, but eventually, they will.
Discuss Your Divorce Case with an Experienced Family Law Attorney Today!
If you are divorcing your spouse, the experienced team at Fait & DiLima, LLP can provide the knowledgeable legal guidance you need to get through it. We will work tirelessly on your behalf to ensure the best possible results.